How NOT to Get an Agent by Heather Novak

On Twitter, I follow several agents because I think they’re awesome follows. Some of them I query, some of them I don’t, some of them reject me, some of them ask for more material. Searching for an agent is tough, but just because they reject me doesn’t mean I’m going to stop responding to their tweets with hilarious GIFs and links to wine ice cream (yes, ice cream that is made from wine. You’re welcome.)

Imagine my shock and surprise when one of my #favoritefollows posted that she was viciously attacked in a blog post by an author she met in person. As someone who hates bullying and has a secret fascination of baiting trolls and grabbing popcorn, I quickly Googled the agent’s name and the blog was on Google’s front page. I read it with my mouth hanging open. Then I read it again in disbelief.

Like, say what?!

This previously published author mercilessly tears apart the agent, from her looks to her personality, because she seemed “bored” with his pitch. Here’s the thing. The author made it very, very clear that he didn’t really understand what he was supposed to do for an in-person pitch. 

I hope I don’t need to tell you all that is an INCREDIBLY bad idea to tear apart ANYONE on a public forum. Like an INCREDIBLY BAD IDEA! As someone who has been in the arts since I was four: NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING! The director doesn’t owe you a call back, the record label doesn’t owe you a contract, and that agent doesn’t owe you a full manuscript request or representation.

It feels like sh*t to get rejected and it stings. But you need the thick skin in this business. You NEVER want someone who isn’t 100% behind your book representing your work. It seems this author couldn’t figure that out on his own.

But my faith in humanity was restored when Twitter exploded to this agent’s defense.

Other agents (because guess what folks, they’re all friends who know how to use Google) were blacklisting this author from their agencies. Editors put him on a “look out” list. Readers shunned his previously published books. Will it stop this troll? Maybe, maybe not. But he will have a much harder time getting an agent now, an already difficult task.

Folks, listen to Cinderella: Have courage and be kind. 


On This Day in 1735 – Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal of John Peter Zenger. The writer of the New York Weekly Journal had been charged with seditious libel by the royal governor of New York. The jury said that “the truth is not libelous.”


Wishing You Laughter & Good Books,BannerWithInfo_ForWeb
Heather Novak
Find me at:
Twitter: authorheathern
Instagram: authorheathern
Facebook: authorheathernovak

Hunting Witch Hazel: Now available
Threat of Raine: 2016
Rosemary for Remembrance: 2016

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About Heather Novak, Author

Bewitching romance with a bold twist. Focusing on powerful imagery and emotional storytelling – you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll laugh so hard you’ll cry. Only Happily Ever Afters allowed.
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4 Responses to How NOT to Get an Agent by Heather Novak

  1. stacyhoff says:

    Wise words, Heather!

  2. Artemis Crow says:

    Great article, Heather! I would add that the same advice goes for authors bashing other authors.

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