Dear David – Paranormal Advice from Vampire David Hilliard

I make no claim to psychological gifts. Susan tells me that reading human minds, don’t count. However, I would love to help you with any paranormal problem you may have. Here goes with the first letter.

Dear David,

I’ve been out shopping the Black Friday specials since 4 am.  I am exhausted.  I figure being that vampires are so much faster, they would make great personal shoppers.  Do you know any vampire personal shoppers I could hire?

Also, David, have you been shopping Black Friday?

Your ardent fan,
Delores

Dear Delores,

Even though I don’t know of any vampire personal shoppers, I will definitely bring it up at the Arnhem Society. It sounds like a fun job. Be aware that we can only use our powers at night or when there is an overcast sky. On a bright sunny day under cover of heavy coats and hoods, we would not be any faster than you. But starting at 4 am, we could probably get more done.

Thanks for asking, but I avoid the crunch of humanity in a shopping frenzy on Black Friday like the plague.  LOL  My lifemate Laura went and still isn’t home.  There goes my credit card.  She thinks I look good in red.

David

Dear David,

Appliances keep breaking in my house.  A friend who is psychic came over and said that my house is infested with gremlins.  What should I do?  I can’t afford to buy all new appliances.  Help.

Helpless

Dear Helpless,

I checked with my auto mechanic, who is a werewolf and knows a great deal about gremlins.  He says that the key is to make friends with the gremlins.  Gremlins go after machines when they are bored.  First, he recommends leaving out cookies and milk at night for them.  Then leave out board games and puzzles.  They especially love Scrabble.  You won’t get rid of your gremlins, but they will be on your side and not harm your appliances.  And when you think about it, isn’t it really harmony that we’re all looking for.

Let me know how this works out for you.

David

About Susan Hanniford Crowley

Paranormal Romance, Fantasy, and Science Fiction Author
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1 Response to Dear David – Paranormal Advice from Vampire David Hilliard

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Dear David – Paranormal Advice from Vampire David Hilliard « Nights of Passion -- Topsy.com

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