I had a conversation recently with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while who had just read my first two books and wanted to know if I had more. The first thing she said, after assuring me she loved them, was, “As I’m reading I can’t help but wonder if the sex scenes are from real life.” As in my life.
Whoooaaaa.
Now I’m a happily married thirty year old woman. It shouldn’t 
be a surprise that I enjoy sex with my husband. That, however, has nothing to do with my books. Do you have sex that includes blood drinking, rolling around on a cave floor, hours of foreplay, multiple orgasms, and a geyer-like explosion of pleasure at the end with a man who looks like Antonio Banderas, says all the right things, touches all the right places, and cares only about your pleasure? Don’t answer that. I might get jealous.
But I don’t know if I want my friends picturing my husband and I doing the dirty (sometimes literally as I have a thing for outdoor sex in my books). First of all, I’m no supermodel gymnast with porn star moves and skin that tastes like honey. My husband is handsome, but his sweat doesn’t glisten over sun-tanned skin bulging with muscle. And if we had sex like my supernatural characters, someone would likely pull a muscle (if not end up in the ER).
Trust me. My books are fiction.
What I will tell you is, I can describe orgasms because I’ve had them. I can write true love because I’ve experienced it. I have yet to be bitten by a vampire but I did have an erotic dream about it once. Close enough. I can depict a deep connection between two individuals because I’ve felt it. And I can write an HEA because I have one.
So do romance authors have sex? I can’t answer for everybody but I do! Like everything else, it isn’t always perfect. But that’s not the point. They call it “making love” for a reason.
Susan, very well put!
By: ZsuZsa Simandy, aka Mariette Miko on February 21, 2012
at 7:19 am
actually i wrote it but thank you
By: Leia Shaw on February 21, 2012
at 8:34 am
Hee hee — I spoke at the local uni on Friday night and of course I was asked where I get my inspiration. A surprising amount of it does come from real life. But substitute a cuddly Scotsman for Antonio Banderas
and no blood drinking.
So far…
By: cmkempe on February 21, 2012
at 10:26 am
i have a thing for antonio but mmm…scotsman are yummy too.
By: Leia Shaw on February 21, 2012
at 10:50 am
Oh yeah
I can attest to that.
By: cmkempe on February 27, 2012
at 6:28 am
If I could sex like in the books I read, I’d never get out of bed. No I truly don’t think book sex is real. Although I have used my husband to make sure a position or two could actually be done. (smiling big) And he liked it too.
By: Mary Roya on February 21, 2012
at 11:44 am
oh yes, that sort of research is fun!
By: Leia Shaw on February 21, 2012
at 12:27 pm
Great post, Leia. I’ve never thought about it that way. I guess I’m so far outside myself and into the character’s head that its more about describing her experince with the hero. I’m usually writing it, just hoping I do it justice.
By: Jennifer Fusco on February 21, 2012
at 12:34 pm
jen it’s good to be so deep into your character when writing. means the readers feel what your characters do.
By: Leia Shaw on February 21, 2012
at 1:04 pm
By: Marian Lanouette on February 21, 2012
at 12:41 pm
LOL Leia – too funny. I’ve had people ask me the same and I say “No, I haven’t had wild dirty sex on the forest floor. But maybe in the future.”
By: Carrie Ann Ryan on February 21, 2012
at 1:02 pm
lol! is it bad that i’m jealous of my characters?
let me know if you have do have wild dirty sex on the forest floor. then i can be jealous of a real person
By: Leia Shaw on February 21, 2012
at 1:05 pm
The books I enjoy most portray real sex, and no, it’s not mine. lol Writers have an imagination, and they use it. End of story.
By: D'Ann Linscott-Dunham on February 21, 2012
at 1:44 pm
real sex? like two humans on a bed and no blood drinking? gross!
kidding. thanks D’Ann. i like your sum up. “writers have an imagination and they use it.”
By: Leia Shaw on February 21, 2012
at 4:01 pm
Leia, Don’t let our secrets out!! I love telling someone I’m an erotic romance author and then watching their face go through a whole series of “thoughts” – and I know when they’ve made it to – some corelation between my writing about it and doing it!
By: Daryl Devore on February 21, 2012
at 11:27 pm
oh good strategy daryl! let them wonder. he he he.
By: Leia Shaw on February 22, 2012
at 1:38 pm
This post reminds me of the time my hubby and I tried to have sex on the beach like they do in the movies…Romantic is was NOT—In fact, we rushed back to hotel because we were ate up with sand flea bits….and NOT in the best of places….
By: trish dechant on February 27, 2012
at 7:33 pm