Posted by: Susan Hanniford Crowley | February 3, 2010

Understanding Vampires

Frankly, there’s no understanding vampires.  Every culture on the planet has a vampire myth.  And the remedies for freeing yourself from a vampire or protecting yourself are many but questionable in their effectiveness.

Let’s consider the one about vampires not being able to enter unless invited.

-In Buffy, they had to be invited.
-In Twilight, apparently not as he got into her room via the window.
-In the Vampires in Manhattan Series (my series), invitations are not necessary again.
-In True Blood, they have to be invited.  Would Eric wait outside Lafayette’s window all night? 

Next myth to examine has to do with showing fangs.

-Okay, they love showing fangs in True Blood.  And honestly, we love that too.  But the eyes don’t change.
- In Twilight, I don’t remember seeing fangs not even when they were snarling but their eyes do change.
-In my series, David and his vampire friends do show fangs, but their eyes stay the same.
-In Buffy, not only do the vampires show fangs but their faces kind of go all Nosteraftu. (I hope I’m spelling that right.  Last time someone had to email me and give me the correct spelling.)

Let’s look at protection now: the cross, stake, holy water.

-In Buffy, all three work for the slayer.
-In Twilight, I don’t believe it comes up.  I remember seeing a large cross sideways against the stairs in Edward’s house, so I don’t think it’s an issue.  I suppose a stake might work, but getting close to them would be the problem as they are just so fast. 
-In True Blood, crosses do not  present a problem for the local vampires.  Remember Vampire Bill spoke to the Descendants of the Glorious Dead in a church.  I don’t remember holy water coming up.  But stakes.  Hmm, wouldn’t stakes be a problem for everyone living or undead?
-In The Stormy Love Life of Laura Cordelais, the cross isn’t an issue.  Yes, stakes are a problem but we’ve already established that.  Holy water only comes up when Evelyn, Laura’s sister throws some at her.  It hurts Laura’s feelings. 

It’s been interesting examining the differences.  Of course, it doesn’t solve the question for how to protect yourself from vampires.  Perhaps it boils down to this:

Is the vampire like Spike, Angel, Bill, Eric, Edward, or even David?  Maybe you wouldn’t want to protect yourself. LOL

If the vampire looks like a white rat with a sneering face and a bad disposition, then I’d say you’re in a lot of trouble.  You could try the cross, holy water, stake, and throw in a little garlic in the sauce.  The vampire might think you’re funny, and while he or she is laughing themselves into the next century, you could run away. 

That’s it.  Make the vampire laugh.  Oh, oh.  I just read that laughter is sexy.  The vampire might want to keep you as his pet. 

Oh, well.  Ta for now.  I apparently need to do more research.

–Lily A. Snow, Historian of the Arnhem Society 

–Susan Hanniford Crowley:  The Stormy Love Life of Laura CordelaisWhen Love Survives, and A Vampire for Christmas  all available at All Romance Ebooks


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